I am sitting at my desk, staring at this screen, and not knowing how to convey the crazy mix of emotions I feel right now. I guess we should just start with the basics. It is July 30th, which means I have spent 11 weeks in Thailand, with only 1 week left. What has happened in 11 weeks? More than I could ever hope to write. I feel as if I have been here my whole life. It seems like it was a lifetime ago when I arrived. Yet, at the same time I just blinked and this adventure is coming to an end. How is that possible?
This past week I pushed out all thoughts of leaving and really focused on the kids. We had such a great time in all of our classes and I learned so much. I cannot describe my love for these children. I obviously am not a mother, and I do not play a motherly role here, so I wouldn't compare it to the parent-child kind of love. But it also is a very different relationship than that of a sibling or a great friend. I don't know how to describe it (and all readers are probably as thoroughly confused as I am now), but just know that it goes deep. My relationships here have molded me into the person I am now.
I had to say goodbye to my host family on Saturday morning. That was pretty rough. They are so much fun and really have taken such good care of me on the weekends. They took me and Meredith to a local night market on Friday night. We were doing a little shopping as we walked around the market. We stopped at a little stand and greeted the man, and he replied with what at first seemed like overly big gestures. Then my host sister said, "ohhh, he can't speak because he is deaf". I looked at him and "said" hello, introduced myself, and had a basic conversation with him in sign language. I have learned basic sign here on the farm as it is used as a bridge between English and Thai (Thai sign is almost the same as ASL) and there are a number of deaf students. Being able to communicate with this man was just so....powerful. When there was no language barrier between us, we were really able to share a special moment of human connection. And this summer I have found that this life is really about human connection. That silent conversation taught me a lot. It also confirmed to me (for the millionth time) that language is critical. I am very determined now to practice foreign(including sign) languages until I am fluent. Being able to communicate with people is so important. I know that man was so appreciative that I could sign. It was an amazing experience. I guess words cannot describe the way it felt.
The rest of my weekend I spent exploring Chiang Mai and hitting up the markets. I did some things with friends and coworkers, but I generally did my own thing. And I really loved it. It was the last time I would be able to be in Chiang Mai, and I loved being able to discover things at my own pace and have no time restraints. It was an amazing last weekend in the city.
I love this farm with my whole heart and soul. This is my last week, and I am going to take advantage of every second I have here. We are going to have a small goodbye party on Thursday night with a campfire (which hopefully means one last good jungle dance) and I will be teaching the art of S'mores. But other than that, this week will stick to the normal order. Whether or not I leave, life goes on, so no need to make a big fuss, right? haha Easier said than done. I am sure there are still lots of adventures to come!
Peace.
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